Sunday, June 06, 2010

Americans Found to be Too Stupid to Function on Minimal Level

A recent investigation of several films and videos held in the vaults of various US agencies reveals that Americans have become increasingly unable to carry out basic functions of daily life.

The videos, obtained through numerous FOIA filings with several federal agencies, show ordinary citizens struggling to operate basic home utensils and appliance or to carry out simple tasks related to routine daily activities.



Apparently concerned not to alarm the American public with evidence of their own deteriorating intelligence, federal agencies have been holding the videos in secret, carefully encrypted electronic files the existence of which all federal agencies under several administrations have consistently denied. Long suspected to be held in secret, the files have now become public through a protracted court battle over contested FOIA requests in which shadowy public affairs crank, Hemlockandashes, finally prevailed.

An early film archived by the Department of Defense is the oldest of the uncovered documents. The 1963 film, documenting at least in part three case studies of Americans too incompetent to carryout such simple tasks as preparing a simple meal, features unsourced narration which at times sounds condescending, while at other times the tone is mocking.

DOD Film: 1963


Apparently the subject of government study for nearly fifty years, the alarming decline of intelligence among the American people is further demonstrated in a 1980s era video retrieved from the vaults of the Federal Trade Commission.

FTC: 1988


Though frightening, the collection of government documents contains evidence of incompetence so spellbindingly profound as to evoke laughter, such as in the case of one subject captured in the act of attempting to negotiate the technology of the modern loafer in a film (shown above)found in the files of the Department of Health, Education and Welfare (now Health and Human Services).

But the material also documents tragedy. One woman is shown struggling and brought nearly to tears in two common household scenarios. The recently produced government video antiseptically informs us that the subject's inability to cope with simple tasks ultimately led to her early demise.

Department of Education: 2008



More recently, rumors are circulating that video documentary evidence has been hidden away (and may have been destroyed) which would connect the stunningly incompetent responses of public and private officials to emergencies threatening the financial sector and associated with the Gulf oil spill to the phenomenon of the widespread decay of coping skills and basic intelligence now running rampant among Americans in all walks of life.

Hemlockandashes has vowed to continue the struggle to unlock more videos from the multi-agency study thought to be held by the intelligence and national security sectors of the government.

No comments:

Post a Comment